after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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