So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
