Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
