I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
