Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
