dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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