how can u be prego again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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