We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize