Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize