I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
as a side note pls kill me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
