Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Your cock deserves a montage
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
