Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
