Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
