My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
