Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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