Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize