I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want to make out with him forever
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize