All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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