Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
