Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize