It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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