you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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