Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to make a zoo with you.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
