im having a threesome with these popsicles
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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