I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
