How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
what day is it and did you see me today?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
