Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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