i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
