There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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