In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just gift wrapped bread.
two words: eviction party
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
