Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
