Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
