I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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