it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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