But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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