How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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