is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
