weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I would ride that face into the sunset
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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