Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
