can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
