'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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