I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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