Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize