Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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