That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
