singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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