how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
