i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
