forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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