i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
