who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
