You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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