omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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