there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize