his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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