Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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