Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
