Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
