He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
