would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
