Will you blow on my dice?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
