YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
