is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
